Gold Star Mom brought to tears
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| A tearful Bernadette Kirk-Bonner and her daughter, Jessica Tingley |
"You deserve this, Bernie," he said.
What she deserved was given her by members of her own family; her daughters and grandchildren.
What they gave her represented the gratitude and support of an entire community.
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| Joshua Kirk |
Bernie was one of eight who became Gold Star Mothers that day.
While they come from across the United States and are separated by miles, many Gold Star Mothers keep in touch, offering one another support in coping with the grief of having a child who gave "the last full measure."
The Gold Star Mothers and families of a specific engagement tend to forge an even closer bond.
On occasion, an event occurs that brings Gold Star Families together, including the "Runs for the Fallen," such as the one in Bonners Ferry two years ago. On extremely rare occasion, an event of such significance occurs that the Gold Star Families of a specific engagement are brought together.
One such rare occasion is the ceremony of a soldier of that battle afforded the nation's highest honor.
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| Clinton Romesha |
Bernie's daughter, Jessica Tingley, attended that ceremony at the nation's capitol, meeting not only those from other Battle of Kamdesh Gold Star Families, but many of the soldiers who were at that remote outpost the day her brother laid down his life for his country.
It was an emotional journey, Jessica said, one that still brings tears to her eyes when she thinks of it.
One of the Gold Star Mothers she met there was Vanessa Adelson of Virginia, whose son, 21-year-old Stephen Mace, was grievously wounded that day.
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| Stephen Mace |
On Monday, it will happen for the Gold Star Families of the Battle of Kamdesh, when President Barack Obama places that pale blue ribbon over the head of Army Staff Sergeant Ty Carter, Spokane, who braved intense enemy fire in an attempt to rescue Vanessa's son.
Like most Medal of Honor recipients, Ty doesn't feel deserving. The fact that Stephan later died despite his heroic efforts weighs heavy on him.
To Vanessa, that Stephen didn't die alone on the battlefield, but was given a few extra hours to smile and talk with his brothers in arms in the safety of an aid station, to be able to tell of his love for they and his family before he died, is a priceless gift.
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| Ty Carter |
Vanessa will be at the Medal of Honor ceremony at the White House on Monday, and so too will Bernie Kirk-Bonner.
When the award was announced, Jessica spoke with an Army liaison officer. Often, there are government funds available to bring members of the Gold Star Families to Medal of Honor ceremonies. This time, there weren't.
"I told him I'd take care of it and booked your ticket that day," Jessica told her mother. But her credit limit wouldn't stretch much beyond the cost of the flight.
Just nine days before her mother's scheduled departure, she emailed Rhonda Vogl, U.S. Customs and Border Patrol and whose circle of friends knows no bounds, to ask if she knew anyone in the D.C. area who might welcome a houseguest for a few days.
Rhonda called back almost immediately, saying she and her husband, Mitch, would be proud to offer her Mom a night's stay in Washington. She also said that she had a feeling that there were many others in the community who would also be proud to help.
"Hang tight," Rhonda said.
Despite the crush of time, Jessica did, and Rhonda was proved oh so right.
"She will tell you she didn't do anything," Jessica told her mom yesterday morning of Rhonda, "but you should not believe her, because what happened over the next nine days was amazing! Donations came in big and small. Some donated anonymously, others donated and did not care or ask to be acknowledged, but all gave generously to support you in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, to make sure Josh was represented at the White House ceremony."
On Sunday, Bernie will board a plane, all expenses; flight, hotel, all taxes and fees paid by a grateful community. Jessica was reimbursed, and there was even money to go into Bernie's purse for meals and incidental expenses during her trip.
Bernie knew nothing of all this when she was "called to the office" Friday morning and Jessica broke the news. Jessica read her a long list of those who gave, and the tears of gratitude fell.
Even her schedule at work had been shifted to afford her less rush and worry.
"You deserve this," Ennis told her as she wiped away tears.
It's an inspirational story Vanessa promised to share with Gold Star Families nation-wide.
"It's so easy to feel alone, to feel that the grief is ours alone," she said. "This shows that most often we aren't."
Rhonda hadn't done "everything."
The members of the Border Patrol, American Legion Post 55, and the Bonners Ferry Rotary Club, she said, helped turn the small snowball she set rolling into the colossus that is this community's support.
"Now, she (Bernie) will know that we have not forgotten," Rhonda said. "And never will."