Bullies and chicken-killin' dogs ...
Boundary County Sheriff's Detective
Those
of you who grew up with farm animals like I did
probably remember a dog that just couldn’t be
cured from killing chickens. Once it got the
taste in its system, there
wasn’t much of a cure other than giving the dog
away to someone who either didn’t have chickens
or didn’t live near any.The other cure probably doesn’t need mentioning here.
I see domestic violence in the same context. Whenever someone, male or female, starts to use physical or mental violence to control a mate -- and they get away with it because it wasn’t reported or the system enabled them by lax penalties or the victim enabled them by refusing to testify after the arrest -- it’s hard for the perpetrator to stop.
Why should they? It’s working for them.
The use of physical or emotional violence is the ultimate sign of a “bully." Bullies are people who don’t have the social skills or maturity to influence their environment through civil conversation and give and take.
Add alcohol and/or drugs to that immature personality and you have someone even more apt to use violence to get their way.
Remember bullies in school? They always seemed to be the ones who learned that if they could intimidate someone smaller and weaker than they were, the word got out and many of the kids either avoided confrontation with the bully or allowed themselves to be bullied.
This only enabled the bully into developing a habit (because it worked) of getting what he or she wanted through intimidation.
I, for one, have nothing but feelings of contempt for bullies and always have.
Bullies also have a tendency to be child molesters and rapists. They pick on smaller, weaker and many times younger children and mentally handicapped individuals to get what they want through fear, intimidation or manipulating the victim into believing the bully can be trusted.
Many folks become unintended victims due to feeling lonely or falling victim to the “rescuer” syndrome.
The victim will fall for a smooth tongue by the so-called rescuer, who is nothing more than a con artist. These people can only maintain their polished personalities for a short time; get alcohol onboard and their true personalities emerge.
Maybe that’s why long engagements were the norm, way back “when.”
Boundary County Victims’ Services have many resources available to victims, male or female, and, yes, there are males who have fallen victim to an abusive spouse and no they aren’t “sissies,” they were just raised not to hit or abuse females.
If you’re a victim of violence, stop by and see the ladies in the Victim Services Office downstairs at the courthouse. They’re always ready and willing to help or at least just listen. They also have pamphlets of information available so that you can educate yourself on your rights and responsibilities.
One last thing to remember, do not hesitate to call 911 if you’re being victimized.
Stay safe.