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Musings from Moyieboy ... |
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Beans, beans the musical fruit, the more
you eat the more folks scoot … away from you |
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December 13, 2017 |
By Ken Carpenter
Dried beans have been cultivated as a staple of
the human diet for over 9000 years.
Interestingly enough, a clue perhaps to the
picky society we live in, Beano did not make an
appearance until the last half of the 20th
century. More on that later.
Unfortunately for the snobs of the world, who do
not take chances with their all-important
status, beans are often described as peasant
food. They are cheap, durable, easy to grow,
healthy and, most important to us peasants,
tasty.
I was raised to believe in the power of a pot of
beans to nourish the body, soothe the soul and
stir the innards. There are few things more
comforting on a Sunday afternoon than the aroma
of a bubbling stew of beans, meat and
seasonings. Almost any combination will do.
There are some pitfalls to avoid in the cooking
of beans. Number one; there are rocks in the bag
with them. Take them out. Amazingly, I have met
a couple people who did not know this. So yes,
rock soup is a dish in some circles.
Number two; recipes invariably call for you to
soak the dried beans overnight before cooking
them. This is not necessary, and some even see
it as a sissified attempt to reduce the
gas-inducing power of the tiny seeds. A culinary
bachelor would never do such a thing for fear
that it might reflect poorly on his manhood.
Before going any further, I must point out that
I know numerous people who will never eat beans
in any way, shape or form. They are all women
who claim that beans make them sick, which is
their delicate manner of saying they do not like
the flatulencial side effects.
To this I have only one word to say. Hah! Take a
nice long walk and nobody will ever know.
After cleaning and rinsing the beans, throw them
in a pan with whatever you want and fill the pot
with water. Always include garlic, for garlic is
one of the two foods of the gods. Beans are the
other one.
Bring the conglomeration to a boil and boil the
sin out of it for ten minutes before turning it
down to a simmer. There is a reason for this
that is not common knowledge. Beans, lentils,
and peas, fresh or dried, contain toxins called
lectins that can cause stomach cramps, nausea
and diarrhea if they are not boiled before being
eaten.
I know, I know, raw peas and green beans can be
tasty and they never killed anyone. Don’t ask me
any more about it, because I am just repeating
what the little nerd in the book told me. In
truth, he looked like the type to avoid eating
something for fear of a gas attack so maybe he
can’t be trusted.
Hmmm, I wonder if some of those ladies actually
did get sick? Just to be safe, I’ll boil mine
for a bit.
Beans take hours to cook, depending on which of
the hundreds of varieties you choose. They are
better because of it, for smelling them all
afternoon gets the appetite boiling along with
them.
Always make enough to last for several meals,
because they get better every day.
If you are used to serving wine with your meals,
don’t. Have a beer instead. Beans are not wine
food.
If you have finicky guests over for dinner, go
ahead and put a bottle of Beano on the table.
Don’t ask me if it works though.
I never touch the stuff.
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