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Looking Back     Health Jewels    Stitch in Time

Flu disrupts publication

September 1, 2013
By Mike Weland
Publisher

Many of you noticed that these pages haven't been updated for the past several days, and a good number of readers contacted me by phone, email and Facebook to see if I was okay.

I am, and I thank you for your caring concern.

It was I assure, nothing serious. In fact, had I not had a stroke nearly a year and half ago, I'd likely not have missed a day. I'm not sure whether it was a summer flu or a summer cold that hit me last week, but whichever, it knocked me for a loop.

Except for one side of me no longer working the way it should, I don't feel a whole lot different than I did prior to 5 p.m. Sunday, April 22, 2011, when the stroke struck. When I dream, it's as if it never happened.

But it has a way of sending subtle reminders that things are different, more so than the obvious physical limitations and the still-to-be accepted skill of being slow.

I tire now long before I ever did prior, and when I push too hard, recovery takes days instead of hours.

I'm more easily frightened than I've ever been, too. A sudden noise, someone walking up behind me unexpectedly, and I give a start, sometimes sufficient to send my weakened left limbs into uncontrolled spasm, or "clonus."

Sometimes, even the dreams of being whole have an effect, as when I dream I'm walking normally, wake, jump out of bed and fall to the floor.

The mind seems to be the one part of me that refuses to accept, even though all the physical damage was confined to a small part of that organ responsible for mind, dreams and thought, my brain.

It has been a profound educational experience.

In the week past, I learned yet another aspect; common ailments I'd have once shrugged off  refuse to be shrugged so easily. Even after a sleepless night of sniffling, snuffling, tossing, turning and coughing, my first thought of a morning was of the work I needed to do.

But when I tried, I found myself in a fog; most of me knew what to do, but I couldn't seem to get the parts of me that had to do it to rise to the occasion. I'd end up chatting on Facebook, playing online word games or solitaire, turning to a show on Netflix.

Sleep didn't come easy last night, but it came, and I woke this morning feeling very much better. And when that part of me that's been telling me it's time to go to work "spoke," the part that listens seems to have heard.

I'm by no means caught up, but I'm getting there, and I both apologize to and am grateful for those of you who keep bearing with me, and those of you who worried if I was okay.

You have all given me a reason to keep getting up, to keep going, to keep looking ahead instead of behind.

I'm often asked if I'm still in physical therapy; no, that ended not long after I got out of the hospital. But I'm doing something much better by being privileged to maintain this site.

I may be slow, but thanks to you, I still feel useful. To me, that's all that's important, and I am grateful.
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