for students and community
“I see you.”
“I feel you.”
“You are not alone.”
With these words, Manny Scott, a motivational speaker, addressed the students at Bonners Ferry High School last Thursday, January 22. His speech began simply, with a song, and asked students to stand up for silly questions. “How many of you can do the duggie?” was the first question. “How many of you love SpongeBob?” "How many of you were once Barney fans?”
The questions soon took a serious tone. “How many of you have only one parent?” "How many of you have seen your mom abused?” "How many of you have been abused?” “How many of you have lost someone to violence?”
Mr. Scott asked these questions among heartbreaking stories about other students he had helped, and situations he has lived through.
With
these questions, Mr. Scott opened students' eyes
to the heartbreak and hardship their peers go
through every day. He told the students over and
over that even the most outgoing, the most
enthusiastic, the seemingly happiest of their
friends can be struggling and so very close to
giving up.Mr. Scott opened students’ eyes to each other. He showed them they are not alone.
He allowed the student body to see past the walls many students put up to see their true selves.
His informal style and sincere belief in the students created a safe environment for them to show how they felt. As a student, I was deeply affected. I saw so many students standing up and sharing the situations they were in. Nearly a third of the student body stood up when asked if they had been, or were in, a dark place. And far too many stayed standing when he asked if any had contemplated suicide. I saw people crying who I never thought would have. I cried. He believed in us, and talked to us like we were equals. He showed that people can make it through the hardest of times, and inspired us to as well.
Mr. Scott also shared personal stories of his younger brother, who ended up in jail and made him promise to tell his story so other kids would not end up like him. He talked about the death of his best friend, who wanted to be a counselor, and who helped Mr. Scott when he had nothing.
He also told the students about a fateful event in his life. When he once thought his life was over, that it would never get better, a complete stranger happened by where he was sitting on a park bench. The stranger changed his life. The man told Manny his own story of how he lost his life to drugs and violence. He told Mr. Scott he was changing his life, making it better, and begged Manny to not be like him.
Mr. Scott said he left that bench and went back to school. He now has two degrees, a masters, and his working on his PhD. He has a wife and three kids.
Later that day, following a free spaghetti dinner sponsored by Boundary County School District 101, Mr. Scott made another presentation for the community. In that presentation, Mr. Scott spoke again of the hardships he had lived through, and showed how you can move past even the worst of obstacles. He showed a clip from the movie The Freedom Writers, which is based on his own experiences. Mr. Scott said that statistically, he was not supposed to be here. His whole life has been a miracle and a struggle. In the last 150 years, he is the first man in his family to not cheat on his wife. Mr. Scott said he had to become the kind of man he had never met.
He gave the parents in attendance a list of things they could do to help their children. First, create a healthy home for your child. Get rid of an abusive partner, get rid of drugs, and make home safe for your child. He shared stories about defending his mother from his abusive stepfather; something no child should have to do.
Second, ensure your child receives a good education. Work with their teachers.
Third, push your kids. Tell them they can be better. Tell them to be better than you. Mr. Scott said his stepfather, when he wasn’t drunk or high, would tell him, “be better than me, don’t be like me.”
And finally, fight for your family. After this statement he shared a clip of a man whose car was stolen. The man chased after the car and refused to give up. At the end of the clip, it is revealed the man’s infant daughter was in the car. Scott said there is nothing better you can do than fight for your family.
Mr. Scott told the audience that to make a change they have to turn the page. You can either feel sorry for yourself, or you can change your life. He closed his speech with the definition of the word decide. Once you have decided what you are going to do, commit to it.
“Everything in your life is a wing or a weight," said Mr. Scott. "Cut away the weights, and hold onto the wings.”
“The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can’t are both right.”